Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Would you join a gym or workout at home and why?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

America’s Small Businesses Hopeful of Boost From Trump’s Spending Bill - WSJ

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can read

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why do some people believe that Homelander would be no match for Superman or Thor?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can count

What are the best sunscreens for oily skin available in India?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What is the naughtiest fantasy that you've lived out?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I see through liars

I think that being gay is wrong, but I treat gay people respectfully like any other person. Is it homophobic? Or offensive in any kind of way? Aren’t disagreement and discrimination two different things?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

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I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t cotton to rapists

Dolorem suscipit perferendis ea aut quo et ea.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why The Simpsons stopped producing Maude Flanders episodes?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy bullshit

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: